Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Life is difficult

I was lucky enough to be in the same class with my guy best friend throughout of this PFP year. It's quite difficult for me to make friends easily. If I'm the only one from my secondary school, I probably just keep quiet, mind my own business, I will distance myself from everyone not even eyeing anyone near me. I can't get too close with anyone because probably I'm just scared. Scared the same things from secondary school will happen to me in poly so no. It's better to be known as a loner than some popular kid who everyone could be secretly hating. At least you don't have to please everyone and just do what you want. And I was also lucky enough to be in sucha class where everyone is so lovely and sweet to each other. I do my own stuffs a lot and I apologize to my class if I hadn't been joining any class outings there were. But I hope you guys know, this is probably the best class I've been in and I'm really thankful to be here with you guys. I can't even imagine leaving this awesome class next year sigh.

Girls drama. No. I won't fall into that shit ever again. It's really painful for me. Almost no one was there beside you helping you through.  I was lucky(again) to have steph with me at secondary school. I would be literally breaking down if it wasn't for her. I speak for all girls who had been in my situation that we wish things like that never happen again. That's why it's better to have a few close friends by your side rather than having lots and lots of friends till you don't even know who you could trust. 

Now what about next year?? Not gonna think about it man. I'm sorry i don't think far ahead. I rather think about what's happening now and make decisions on them. The future can wait for as how long it can. I have yet make any specific dreams for myself. I'm still a teenager, I will probably do it when I'm in my twenties. My doing-what-I-want dreams are not realistic and won't support me long. Yeah living in Singapore crushes my actual dreams because everything is so incredibly expensive here, buying a house is expensive, having kids are expensive depends on how you see that. The education system here make teenagers my age can't even have real fun because our parents start making high expectations of us which pressurize us alot and we start crying and have negative thoughts, not to mention the social problems most of us have in and outside school. I don't even get why some foreigners name singapore as their most favourite country lol. Do you even know what it feels like living here?? 

As for now, I decided not to let what people think affects me. I know I should've done that ages ago. I blame myself for them. Hahaha. Again, just gonna continue doing my own stuffs and concentrate in studies and make people i love proud. 

Talk soon. xx

Suhailah. 18.
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