Friday, August 23, 2013


Well hello there.

I have not posted for awhile and that is not good. But hi everyone. Hope you're enjoying your holidays because I have a great feeling this semester break. 

I absolutely enjoy my first day of work because everyone is so lovely. I don't know what's up with me and lovely people. I have lovely friends, classmates and now colleagues. Even though I guess they are a lot older than me. 

And there's a freaking Milo machine. Omg guys. 

Like the moment i stepped into the pantry there was this hot drinks machine and I was actually expecting some plain Nescafé/Tea machine. I was looking at the types of drinks they have and guess what, (yes I know you guessed it) there's Milo and I felt like I couldn't breathe for a whole ten seconds and quickly took a styrofoam cup from the stack and filled it up with good ol' hot Milo. And that's where I began to love my workplace.

Anyway, back to serious. No really.

I don't know why I preferred to be alone nowadays. Actually it's been like this since school starts. I feel peaceful being alone. Where no one is going to disturb me while I am actually reading or watching vids. I just love silence. Not the awkward ones though. No one loves that. It just calms me down especially after all the crazy things been thrown at me these past few days. And yes, I do realise people might categorize me as a loner. I don't care. I don't care what anyone is talking about me at all. I never really asked my friends to hang out, they asked me. It actually bothers some of them though. I feel bad honestly. They are my friends and I never ask them out for hang outs or even a simple lunch/dinner. Sorry guys. Deeply am.

But that's just the way it is to me now. And I probably need something new coming for me soon. I need something to get me back up and make close friends again. I hadn't made any close friends (close enough to hang out even outside school.) the past few months in poly. What happened to me? I used to be really good at this socializing stuff. Now I just plainly walk away from anyone I don't know. My confidence is never really there anymore. 

And it might be a good thing for me. But of course from all of your point of views, it's not.

It's funny how enthusiastic I sounded at the beginning of this post and it went down to this sinking feeling in my heart.


Suhailah. 18.
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